A Mother’s Tale: The Baby Whisperer?

A little over 4 years ago, the Wieland/Jackson family was blessed with a little girl named Devon.
Devon was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and, as you might expect, she was spoiled by everyone…well, almost everyone. I say “almost everyone” because there was one person who didn’t spend 80% of his salary on her, cuddle with her, or hug and kiss her. 

Devon Jackson

Uncle Pete had never really been around kids before. He didn’t understand them nor did he know how to speak to them in a “baby voice.” He thought babies should be talking and walking by the time they are three months old. He didn’t understand why they would want to poop in their pants. But there was something about Uncle Pete that Devon absolutely loved. Whenever I would call my dear sweet niece Devon, she would immediately say, “Where Unca Pete?” Pete must have sensed her question and proceeded to wave his arms and shake his head so as to say, “I am not here!!!” To this day, Devon must think Pete is at work 24 hours a day. Even though he never once spoke to her on the phone, bought her birthday presents, or acknowledged her existence, Devon LOVED Unca Pete: The Baby Whisperer.

Fast forward 4 years. Caden Finneas Jaslow arrives.

Several Fridays ago, I woke up feeling fantastic. I didn’t get too much sleep, but I didn’t have anything to do during the day, so I woke up feeling very relaxed. I was particularly excited because later that night, Pete and I were going to go to a friend’s going away party. Nanny was coming to take care of our little boy so we could party it up with our friends. It was going to be a terrific Friday! Or so I thought…

It all started to go downhill around 8:00 AM (note: we woke up at 7:45AM). Mr. Cade decided to wear his cranky pants. Apparently, he did not get the memo that this was supposed to be a terrific, relaxing Friday. He cried when I fed him, when I put him in his favorite seat, when I gave him a pacifier, when I laid him down flat, when I bounced him, when I rocked him, when I made funny faces and sounds, when I gave him a toy, and when I took him for a walk in the Baby Bjorn. I think I even made up my own rendition of “Go the F to sleep” at one point. He…was…a nightmare. I can’t wait till I can bribe my child with a cookie or cash to stop crying.

Mommy

At around 3:30 PM, I am pretty certain a clinical psychologist would have considered me insane. I hadn’t eaten a thing all day and was beginning to beg Kallie for her help with her little brother. She, of course, did not have any other ideas for me. After all, she is a dog. I was so jealous of my puppy when she got up and walked her little furry butt upstairs to lie in the comfy bed and take a snooze. Maybe this makes me a bad mom, but I was very tempted to leave the crying newborn downstairs and accompany my always-happy, never crying pup. Instead, I decided it was more appropriate to call Daddy.

I felt like it had been days since I slept, ate, or spoke to someone other than a dog. Pete must have also secretly diagnosed me with a case of insanity because he immediately said, “I’m coming home” upon hearing the distress in my voice. I’ve always thought that dogs had this special ability to sense when their owner was almost home. My childhood dog, Kutja, would go berserk and within about 10 minutes, my father would walk in the door. Kutja sensed it. I had no idea that an infant could have the same superpower…even my superhero son, Flash. About 10 minutes before Pete walked through the door, after roughly 7.5 hours of absurdity, Cade miraculously stopped crying. The Baby Whisperer struck again.

"Mommy, please don't disturb boys time."

It can be frustrating as a mom to drop everything in your life for your adorable child only to have him look at you and scream bloody murder. Doesn’t he know that I gave up my coffee-shop-hopping, FUNemployed lifestyle for him?! Doesn’t he realize how God awful it is to change a diaper when the poop has gone up to his neck?! But it only takes one sweet smile after singing a round of “The Wheels on the Bus” to make it all not only worth it, but absolutely incredible.

-Mamadactyl